Monday, June 24, 2013

Are fathers reading mommy blogs?

I rely on "Mommy Blogs" to uplift me when I'm feeling like a crappy mom, enlighten me to the struggles of other parents, and invite me into a community when I'm feeling alone. They're hilarious, touching, and most importantly, honest.

These blogs hold valuable insight into motherhood for mothers AND fathers. Unfortunately,  men are not typically the target market. I am not suggesting that mommy bloggers change their approach to entice male readers. On the contrary, women-only spaces are crucial for sharing and mentoring among women which leads to empowerment. The raw nature of the messages in these blogs needs to be preserved.  It also needs to be shared with men, especially fathers.

I read a blog post by Rage Against The Minivan that closely mirrored my stress over keeping up with holidays. I am creative by nature and love to share my talents, but I just can't be "homemade" all the time.  Trivial stuff, I know, but it was undermining my confidence to be a "good mom". It occurred to me that my husband probably never thought about this stuff. He wasn't feeling pressure from other dads to get creative birthday party ideas from Pinterest or make Hallmark quality Valentine's Day cards for my son's preschool class. That blog post empowered me to reject that pressure I was feeling.

I wanted to tell my husband about it all, but feared that it would sound silly to him...which, on the surface it does.  However, my emotions were NOT silly. As my partner in parenting, I needed his understanding and support.  I emailed him the link and he read it. He saw why his relatively practical wife was stressing about cooking and crafts.  Now when he catches me trying to do too much, he'll say, "you know, you don't HAVE to do that", and he is right. I need that external voice of reason.  It forces me to stop and question my motivation. Sometimes I keeping working because I'm having fun on a project, but sometimes I put down the glue gun, frosting, or needle & thread and go to bed instead.

I invited my husband to share in that safe space typically reserved for us awesomely flawed mamas. He engaged and learned something new about what it feels like to be me. I hope the readers of mommy blogs who are touched by their messages will share them with other mothers and fathers. They need to be engaged in this hilarious and honest portrait of motherhood. 

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