Friday, October 8, 2010
Dedicated to Kathryn
I have spent countless hours of my life (in the recent past) crying over my "friend" situation. Getting married, moving, and having a child put significant strain on the already strained relationships between me and some of my female friends. It made me sad, but it also has made me realize that I have a choice in the company I keep. I don't have to remain friends with you simply because I've known you since I was an adolescent. Yes, we share a history, but perhaps that is all we share anymore. I need to surround myself with people who truly care about me and my circumstances, and respect my life choices. I have felt like an outsider, ignored by the people I consider to be friends and it's no longer healthy.
Fortunately, moving forced me to do a couple of things: 1) Invest only in the friendships that result in positive interaction, mutual support, and love 2) Meet new friends and try them on for size. I am grateful to the long-distance friends who have reciprocated the effort to maintain friendships. I slowly, but surely, feel like I've become part of a new circle of friends whose husbands also get along with Jason quite well (bonus). I've also been getting along famously with some of my new co-workers. These situations have allowed me to feel good about myself again. I don't feel like I'm the odd-woman out anymore. I feel like I belong.
One of my new friends is remarkably like me. We share a love of creativity and design, a positive attitude, a healthy marriage, and a strong work ethic. I feel a unique connection to her and it reminds me of being around family - the people who know you and love you no matter what. The people you rarely have to explain yourself to. The people who laugh at you without making you feel self-conscious. The people who give you a hug before you knew you needed it. It just feels good and I'm so grateful.
I think I'm a good friend, but I've seriously doubted that fact for the past year. Now I realize, its just not that simple.