I am now at 11 weeks and have been fortunate that my pregnancy hormones have not reared their ugly head...until today.
I was shopping at Barnes and Noble and found the cutest Christmas Cards. I decided to take a photo with my phone and send it to my mom and sister to share in the humor, but while taking the photo all I could think was: if I were in Michigan right now, Michelle and Mom would be with me shopping and I wouldn't be here shopping alone. I burst into tears right in the middle of my 1/2 caf, iced, non-fat, vanilla carmel latte from Starbucks....it took several minutes to get myself under control.
I decided to grab lunch so I headed to Panera. There was a elderly couple kinda-sorta standing in line so I said:
Me: Are you ready to order?
Cute Old Man: I am, but she's not (pointing to his wife). She has trouble making up her mind (winking at me)
Me: Okay. (burst into tears)
The sweet old man reminded me of my Zhidie (grandpa), complete with old-man trucker hat, windbreaker, and slightly hunched back. His wife reminded me of grandma too. I can't be totally certain why I was crying....possibly because they were too cute having lunch together on a Saturday? Or thinking about my grandparents who are no longer on earth with me and how exciting it would have been for them to see a great-grandchild? I was "this" close to asking if I could eat lunch with them in order to satisfy my need for some family time. Instead I cried into my Orchard Harvest Salad.
Then, on my way out, I was hit two more times with reminders of my distance from family. I saw a guy with a Michigan State hat and sweatshirt on and then I smelled a woman wearing my Aunt Cindy's perfume. I bolted from Panera before I started sobbing again.
Of course, Jason isn't home today (just my luck) so I couldn't lean on him, and OBVIOUSLY I can't drink, so I drown my sorrows in a little retail therapy, but even the fabulous red dress I found at Marshalls for $20 couldn't cheer me up.
I miss my family, no doubt, but most days I can text, e-mail, or call them and be reminded that we're not too far away. I new that when I became pregnant, the distance would seem much greater and it has, but at the same time, its brought us much closer.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
It's easy to have a relationship with your kids and grandkids when they live down the street or the next town over, but you really have to make an effort when they live states away. My point? My family has shown me how much they care by taking the time and energy to be a part of my life, my marriage and this pregnancy everyday and I know that care will only grow with each passing day. THAT (and not physical distance)is what makes me feel close to them.