The number twelve. The date of my birth. The years you spend in primary education. The number of months in a year. It's also my dress size.
I am not bothered by the fact that I wear a size 12. Most days I would like to be a size 8, but honestly, my discipline and determination to be a size 8 are not as strong as my love of food and my hatred of working out. I admire my sister for her strength and dedication to having a healthy lifestyle. I am so proud of her. She has coached me to eat better and live healthier and I have followed her example....except I still eat too much food....in spite of the fact that it's healthy food!
Size does not define who I am, or what kind of friend, sister, daughter, and wife I am. Let's be honest, I am 5'9" and dammit, I wear it well. So why would I want to be a smaller size? Here is the answer:
I am sick and tired of going shopping in stores where the largest 'Misses' size is 10 and the smallest 'Plus' size is 14.....do we see the problem, people?
It makes me feel as though I am un-deserving. It reminds me of when Jason and I lived in Sterling Heights. Every time we tried to order pizza delivery, they would tell us we were not in their "delivery range".....we lived in what we now call the "pizza void" - constantly having to drive to get our pizzas (like the old days) or desperately trying to remember who actually does deliver to us....and do we even like their pizzas?
Anyway, back to the size thing. I know I am not the only size 12 around. Are the other 12s out there snatching up my clothes before I can get to them? Or did they never really exist in the first place? I am in the 'size 12 void'. The way I see it, I have two choices: 1) gain another 10 pounds and wear a size 14, or 2)loose the extra 10 pounds I've been comfortably wearing since 2002 and fit into a size 10 (and my favorite jeans). I think we all know the better choice.
Feminist Disclaimer: What is most important to remember when talking about body image, is having a healthy self-image as well as a healthy lifestyle. It's not about trying to look like celebrities and models or thinking that if you're skinnier, you'll be happier. Even a feminist like me can't ignore the images we're exposed to a million times a day. But, we can be conscious of their influence over us and try to make healthy decisions in spite of their potentially damaging rhetoric.